Sexy Club
by Cheea5
Summary: Contains perverted humor. Major crossover fic. I'm planning to do: Tales of the Abyss, Tales of Legendia, Fire Emblem, and more. Starts in Symphonia. -Discontinued-


**Sexy Club**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot but if I did you would know it.

Thanks to my Beta reader, The Amazing Sono-chan! She helped make this weirder than it already was (if possible).

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"Kratos, I'm Bored!" Yuan whined.

"Then find something to do." Kratos replied. He hadn't even looked up from his book titled 'Idiots Guide to Ruling the World.' Yggdrasill told him to read it.

"Like what?" Yuan asked, still whining.

"Join a club or something." Kratos said agitated.

"But all the clubs are crap!" Yuan replied.

"Then start one, I don't care just SHUT UP!"

"Hmm, start a club... That could work... But what would it be about..." Yuan thought for a moment… "Of course! It will be a club for people dead sexy like I am!" Kratos looked up from his book giving Yuan a 'You've got to be kidding me' look. "No Kratos, I'm not kidding."

"I didn't say anything."

"Yeah yeah, whatever... Hey! Wanna join?" Yuan asked. Kratos stared blankly. "I'll take that as a yes. Now who else should join?"

"I'm not getting out of this am I?"

"Not a chance!"

Kratos rolled his eyes…he would play along for the time being. "Fine, how about Sheena?" Kratos asked, naming a random woman.

"You're right, she has bust." Yuan said thoughtfully.

"What!"

"Have you ever seen her chest?!?" Yuan stated. Kratos slapped his forehead.

"Ok, I'm in no way involved with this." And with that Kratos continued his reading.

"But Krat-krat! You're supposed watch me today! Yggy said!" Yuan pouted.

Kratos stared at Yuan for a second. "Krat-krat?" he asked before putting his book down (losing his page in the process). "Alright alright, now what?"

"We get the Eternal Sword of course!" Yuan shouted gleefully.

"Why?"

"For it's magicky powers of course! You know like its ability to teleport!"

"We can already teleport you dolt!"

"But it's so shiny!"

"I suppose other club members won't be able teleport..."

"Yay! Lets go!" Yuan grabbed Kratos' hand and started to drag him toward the Tower of Salvation despite the fact he could have teleported.

"Yggy could we borrow your shiny sword?"

"My shiny _purple_ sword." Yggdrasill corrected

"Yeah, that one!"

"Why?"

"Cuz it's shiny and pretty and we need its magicky powers for my club!"

"What's the club for?"

"It's for people dead sexy like me!"

"One condition, I get to join!"

"Um... Sure you can be an honorary member -cough cough-" Yuan said, winking at Kratos. Kratos rolled his eyes.

"Yay!" Yggdrasill squealed in delight, bouncing like a little kid.

Yuan promptly grabbed the sword and Kratos' arm before teleporting to Mizuho. Once they had arrived, Yuan called to the summoner, who happened to be walking nearby.

"Sheena!"

Sheena shouted back. "What!?!"

"We need you."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because of your b-" Kratos slapped a hand over Yuan's mouth.

"Because we need a girl for his club." Kratos cut in.

"Why me?" Sheena asked. By now, Yuan had pried Kratos' hand off of his mouth.

"Well, Raine is too old, Presea is too little and you have serious clea-" Kratos cut Yuan off once again.

"And you're our best candidate."

"What's the club for?" Sheena asked suspiciously.

"For people dead sexy like me!" Yuan said, flexing. "So join! Or else," he added threateningly.

"Or else what?"

"I haven't gotten that far yet..."

"Sure, whatever... I've been extremely bored anyways."

Sheena joined the party

"Yay! Now what?" Yuan asked. Then Yggy appeared.

"You guys left me!" Yggy said, pouting.

"We needed to pick up another member."

"You didn't tell me he was in this club!" Sheena yelled, pointing at the oblivious Yggy who was running through the flowers.

"He's an honorary member (Wink wink, nudge nudge)." Yuan replied.

"Right..."

Yggy joined the party

"Why does that keep happening? I'm turning it off…" Kratos said, referring to the alerts that kept magically appearing overhead (accompanied by a catchy little jingle!).

"Now what?" Yggy boy asked.

"To the future!" Yuan yelled grabbing everyone and holding up the sword (I'm not sure how). The sword then glowed and they were teleported somewhere else. When they arrived they all looked around at the unfamiliar landscape.

"What's this weird looking box?" Kratos asked picking up a small box lying nearby. "Tales of the Abyss?" The adventure begins.

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My god. Sono edits the crap out of it! But it's helpful. I hope you liked it! Please review and tell me what you think!


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